I have an on-going issue with the Internet/computer interface that I attribute to the ADSL system that gives me fast service -- in theory. When there are a lot of people in this small town who go on-line at once (start of the day’s service, lunch, end of work, evening movie viewing times) my keyboard freezes. The mouse works, but I can’t type. To restore service I have to cut the electricity -- not to just shut down or restart the computer -- and then start up again. When I call the first-line techies, they read out of their books to me, I assure them that’s not the problem, they continue to read out of their books (which do not include the problem), and if I frustrate them enough, they’ll pass me up to the second-level techs.
The second level tech is just like me except that she’s an expert. I mean, she’s a practical person with life experience. But to protect her time you can’t get to her except through the first level techs. Last fall when school started she (both of the second level people are women) went round and round with me while I got more and more outraged and we finally reached a Mexican standoff. Then in a week or so she got back to me to say she had found someone in another location who understood the problem and, indeed, she fixed it. Until this fall when it returned. I attribute this to there being more and more people online, but the techies assure me that their monitors show there’s plenty of bandwidth.
As I go around my social circle (laundromat, trash roll-off, library, grocery stores large and small) I interview people while they help me, and they are often fascinating -- far more wide-ranging in experience and thoughts than anyone would suspect just looking at them. Some are people I’ve known a long time and some are newcomers. Increasingly they are returning veterans, because this is an area where our young people see the military as a viable option and a context where they usually do well. They are folks who follow directions, are not afraid of challenging circumstances, are familiar with large machines, and so on.
Some come back with no problem and become beloved members of the community. We don’t hear much about them because the media (usually young reporters) likes dramatic stories about limbs blown off or violent PTSD reactions or getting hooked on drugs. Now we are slowly realizing that other disorders can gradually creep in as soldiers age, esp. tiny disturbances in brains. What was once under control begins to make trouble, which older guys hate to admit, or maybe remains so subtle that only family members begin to notice.
Then there are a number of other problems that interfere with solutions. I’ll summarize:
1. Distrust of the Veteran’s Administration and dread of the inevitable paperwork.
2. Lack of cooperation from corporate insurance providers, some of it probably due to lack of understanding.
3. Fatalism: the feeling that brain things are too mysterious to address and old guys are doomed anyhow.
4. Interference from the drugs that are supposed to be helping things like depression or seizures: sometimes the drug imposes similar symptoms (thickheadedness, lethargy, difficulty in processing) that are tough to get past.
5. Complex issues that laypeople have a tough time understanding. (“Underlying cognitive architecture in circumscribed prefrontal cortex brain sectors.”) Even the docs admit they don’t quite know what all this means, though they have theories.
6. General shifts in the culture, esp. for older guys who haven’t tracked along with the general departure from traditional church congregations to amorphous “spirituality.” Would an overloaded priest or a whipper-snapper pastor be able to provide support for the courage it takes when a soldier is facing death that might not be with dignity?
7. Stove-piping of information means that everything is sorted into categories and hierarchies so that if research starts out on the wrong foot, it may be led way off the true path. Where does one start? How does info move between stove pipes?
8. Pinching off of government money, esp. for support services and outreach -- the first to be cut.
9. Stigmatizing of need, politicizing of vulnerability.
10. A countering conviction of entitlement in the persona of the military person, mixed with the idea that their essence is strength. “Man up!” (Women, too.)
The telephone company, which is my internet provider as well, tells me that their problem with small towns like Valier is that we don’t complain enough. Because complaints are the only way the providers have to know what’s going on. But esp. in a town like this one, we didn’t grow up with “miracle” cyberstuff. We live with weather extremes or strange things like huge superloads of machinery going through in the night or interruptions due to drunks driving into powerpoles. We live with more infrastructure problems than we probably ought to, because we know they serve as entry points for big time money projects, and we’re already stretched to the limit for fees and upgrades. If the state didn’t come in like armed guards to force compliance, we might still have outhouses. Indeed, we’re going back to windmills.
But -- when it works -- the Internet search engine is crackerjack. An access to info, a way of networking, an educational project, a source of courage in the night, a way of reaching out. One of the phenomena it supports is the empowerment of the vulnerable by forming groups that have far more political impact, draw on far more sources of experience and expertise, and bring justice into play against the unfairness that is everywhere in life.
My mother used to call me “Meddlesome Mattie” and criticize me for interfering in other people’s lives, even if my intention was to help them. (She was the original -- I was the copy.) When intentions outstrip efforts, helpers can help a person right into the abyss. I never want anyone meddling in my own life. I want help to be on my own terms. Yet, if a person clearly sees a need and has the means to at least make connections, do a little exploring, and offer a bit of friendship -- that would seem justification enough. So I think of it as a public service to be a sorehead about the ADSL and the strange shenanigans of the telephone. (Of course, I’m also a sorehead about cell phones in many aspects, but I know I’m just out-of-step and I don’t have one so I don’t bellyache about that issue.)
Neither do I want to be “Little Ms Fixit” with people coming to get me to heal the world. Life is full of hardships and a certain amount of cheerful stoicism is necessary. My compromise is to be a feedback loop, so I go to town council meetings on that basis. Rarely do I say much unless it’s all getting carried away, out of control. This blog is -- in a sense -- another feedback loop. Sometimes terrific ideas come in this way. More times, we just share the muddle. Maybe I’m Muddlesome Mattie. But once in a while it all works out. What do you know about ADSL? What do you know about “Underlying cognitive architecture in circumscribed prefrontal cortex brain sectors.”
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