IRRESPONSIBLE FAKE NEWS

THIS IS FAKE NEWS.

The real Donald Trump is much fatter.

Can’t sleep after the onslaught of today’s news revelations.  I’m not thinking “House of Cards” so much as “Game of Thrones” so let me put on my George RR Martin hat and spread this out on paper to get it out of my head.

What could possibly cause Nunes, who seemed sane a few days ago, to take intel directly to Trump, knowing that everyone would know he did and, indeed, then announcing it formally?  A threat of assassination.  A contract on Trump’s life.  Could be domestic or foreign.  The fence jumper a few days ago made it to the front door.  What if it were going to be a military-type attack:  a missile, a predator drone, or the like?

If it were foreign — who knows what could justify elimination by Russia?  They just demonstrated another method (defenestration) and they don’t need much of an excuse.  Surely Trump has been hoarding a few little secrets of his own, but then, he’s becoming less and less useful — too nutty, out of control.  We know what provoking N. Korea could do.  Wouldn’t the death of the president or even an attempted murder be enough to precipitate us into war?  Wouldn’t it, in fact, be a declaration of war on the USA?

If this were something that were real, Trump would probably be held in the deep secure bunker to protect him until he could be safely flown out of the country.  He could have already videotaped a resignation from the presidency in exchange for help in escaping.  If he is killed after he has resigned, it will not be an assassination of the president anymore.  The vid could be held, not shown until he’s gone.  He may be in the air right now, clutching his toothbrush and toupee paste.  Remember that it’s suspected that a missile brought down an airliner just off the East Coast a few years ago.

Or let’s look at another wild possibility.  When Trump is thwarted, he goes into a cork-popping rage.  It’s pretty clear tonight that his insurance plan is not likely to succeed.  What if he’s had a major brain event?  What if he’s truly demented in a mental hospital ICU right now?  What if the real reason Ivanka has an office in the White House is so she’ll be there as his legal guardian when the strait-jacket folks come.  They say she can calm him when no one else can.  Let’s hope she doesn’t have scruples about endorsing a Do Not Resuscitate order.

Some movie thriller writers might have made this intercepted intel about Ivanka, a threat against her, but I don’t think Russians, Chinese or Koreans think she or any woman is important.

Normally, when a bill looks as though it is doomed, the deadline is moved out ahead so that either persuasion might succeed or the whole issue can be allowed to die quietly.  But the insurance bill is scheduled to be voted on at 7PM tomorrow, regardless of prospects.   It will keep the Republicans occupied and present.  There’s talk about the Dems just leaving en masse.  But we might be surprised by the vote, the way we were surprised by the election.  After the vote tomorrow would be an excellent time to play a resignation tape, assuming it existed.  The news explosion would cover the embarrassment over insurance, whichever way it goes.

If Trump were flying out to some secret island, a news landslide might keep the reporters from scouring the flight schedules to find the island — at least for a while.  On the other hand, he might be dead already.  Ivanka may be asked to help plan a funeral.  Maybe Melania won't be that interested.

This is all preposterous and over dramatic.  Or is it?