The February Thaw is almost as famous as the Chinook Wind and maybe they are close to the same thing. Calves here are scheduled in February. Evolution has scheduled the ground squirrels for a little amorous romping about the same time, because then they go back to the burrow to gestate (six more weeks of winter). Right about now I begin to long for Ground Hog’s Day. It’s only a couple of weeks away and one likes to be prepared for holidays.
The Montana Groundhog is the marmot. In fact, all groundhogs are marmots but not all marmots are groundhogs. The Montana marmots are not woodchucks, but rock chucks. That means the sport of digging them up with the assistance of terriers is not really possible. What one needs is the assistance of grizzly bears capable of rolling away boulders at high altitudes where marmots hang out.
A little googling turned up two useful scraps. One is a song: “Oh Murmeltier,” which is sung to the tune of “Oh, Tannenbaum,” (Murmeltier is German for marmot.) Slang for a marmot around here is “whistle pig” because they are fat little fellows who communicate by making a piercing sound that carries well at high altitudes. So if you wanted to sing this song in Montana, I would recommend you use the following lyrics, with a nod to Prof. K.B. Armitage who composed most of them.:
Oh Whistlepig, oh Whistlepig,
We celebrate your famous day.
Oh Whistlepig, to you we pray
That winter soon will go away.
We like the sun and daffodils.
We’ve had too much of winter’s chills.
Oh marmot friend, we’re warning you,
If winter stays, you’ll be rock chuck stew!
In case you don’t have a recipe for “Country-Style Rock Chuck Stew,” here you are.
First, catch a marmot. Clean and skin as soon as possible. Remove all scent glands, including the small sacs in the back and under the forearm. Cut off head, feet, and tail. Cure in cool place by suspending from hook approximately four days. Soak overnight in salted water to remove wild flavor. Dredge cut up pieces in flour, salt, pepper and soda, rubbing in well. Brown in hot oil in skillet, sprinkle with 1/2 teaspoon of sugar. Reduce heat, add a half cup of water. Cover and simmer for about thirty minutes or until tender. Remove cover, cook for ten minutes longer.
Do not cook any of the weather predicting marmots: Punxsutawney Phil, Beauregard Lee, or Wiarton Willie. (The last is albino, so you’re not likely to eat him by mistake.) There are fourteen species of marmot but the Vancouver Island Marmots is one of the most endangered species in the world, so don’t eat them either. A camera is a good idea since they are quite handsome: Chocolate brown with a white spot on the chest. www.marmot.org
Montana whistle pigs, AKA yellow-bellied marmots, are not endangered but why eat them? They’re cheerful and funny and live where the mountain scenery is most magnificent. Just watch for bears.
In Pakistan where some soil is gold-bearing, it’s smart to check the chucked-out dirt of burrows in case some little nuggets came along. As long ago as Herodotus this has been a practice. Mongolians, a practical sort not unlike Montanans, hunt marmots for food and wear bunny-ears to disguise themselves so they can get close. More artistic hunters “do a special dance and twirl a yak-tail to catch rodent attention", sort of like flagging pronghorns to make them curious. In the Alps to cure rheumatism one rubs on rendered marmot fat.
Though marmots could give a person a nasty bite, the real danger (as with many animals) is their fleas which in central Asia still carry the plague that decimated Europe. You can catch plague as well as analogues on the American prairies, like Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. (A prairie dog is not in the genus Marmota, but in Cynomys. I have no idea what that implies.) These afflictions are more curable today. Marmot plague (which often afflicts lungs) is spread by coughing. Do not let a marmot cough on you.
The marmotiers, who are numerous enough to form societies and hold conventions, propose the question of what to do with an orphaned marmot. The first question that occurs to me is how to tell whether it’s an orphan unless it’s huddled next to the body of its mother’s carcass. (Marmots like the big rocks piled at the ends of highway bridges and that puts them in harm’s way.) Next, consider the law in your state. You will probably need a state and federal wildlife rehabilitation license if you think you’re going to try to save the baby. Anyway, an established wildlife rehabber can be a big help.
Those who are experienced say that if the baby has fur and its eyes are fully open, its chances are good. Check for teeth. If it still needs milk, we always did pretty well raising ground squirrels (close relatives) on condensed milk thinned with water, sweetened with Karo syrup, and fortified with liquid baby vitamins. Goat milk is supposed to be better than cow milk. Big pet stores sometimes have kitten formula, though I’ve never figured out how they milk a cat. There’s such a thing as “rodent chow.” Strangely, some marmots like to drink water and some don’t. No one knows why.
Like all ground animals, marmots can come loaded with mites and fleas. My advice (from experience) is to take the animal into the shower WITH you and lather you both simultaneously with baby shampoo. Otherwise the arthropods use your arms for a highway.
People DO keep marmots for pets with varied success. One family reported that if they go off on vacation, their little whistle pig goes “into torpor” meaning hibernation. Too bad it doesn’t work with human children. But if winter strikes and your marmot seems to have died in your sock drawer, it’s probably just hibernating. A few people say that their marmot toilet-trained itself. (Likewise, some humans.)
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