Chastity Bono
With Caitlin Jenner in the headlines confronting and confusing us all -- not least the journalistic media which is never quite “with it” anyway since they only look for salable “angles” -- it is more than serendipity that Netflix sent me two movies at about the same time. One was the film about Chaz Bono’s conversion from female to male (“Transition: Becoming Chaz” -- there’s a second film with the same name about “Being Chaz.”) The other was a fictionalized conversion from male to female based on the author’s life (“Normal”). What I got out of thinking about the two of them is that the real differences are not about whether they have genital “innies” or “outies” but about what the hormones do to change their emotional workings and what society imposes in terms of gender identity and role.
Chaz Bono
Chaz Bono became more aggressive and self-centered, which disconcerted his partner. But because he is the son of wildly unconventional people in a show biz context where identities and physical appearance are always fluid, his story is exotic but not as much as one might think. Still, the change in genders lost him his Significant Other and his father. It took a while for his appearance to go from female to male, so that there was a sort of cocoon period in which he was fat. Much of gender hormones has to do with the handling of metabolism. Fat produces estrogen.
Tom Wilkinson would seem the least likely candidate for ruffled femininity, but one of his strongest personal characteristics is an innate dignity no matter what part he’s playing. ("Normal" is a 2003 film, five years before Bono’s experience.) Jessica Lange, who plays his wife, is very female but also strong. She can play monsters and dictators very convincingly. The casting for "Normal" was crucial for this film, since the situation is so close to farce (“a comic dramatic work using buffoonery and horseplay and typically including crude characterization and ludicrously improbable situations”) that only empathy for the reality can save it from being ridiculous. The shift was not a matter of hormones, but of makeup and lighting. . . and acting.
Tom Wilkinson
The actor who nearly misses is the pastor, so chirpy and anxious to help at first. Hollywood has a very hard time with the reality of pastors, esp. in moral dilemmas. Like reporters, they never quite overcome the “angles.” This means show biz is far more responsive to society (after all that’s who buys the tickets) than to the predicaments of individuals, which is the same emphasis as institutional denominations. Oddballs are subject matter, not members. But these two films are also evidence that individual cases, carefully presented, can change society if they are compelling enough.
“Normal” is a little gimmicky, but optimistic in its conviction that human identity -- and therefore relationships -- can be based firmly on more than just sex. In spite of negative messages about social status, conventions that guide how one dresses or smells, and the challenge to one’s children who are still deriving themselves from their families, two people attuned and sharing history can adapt. The larger social context -- all those “meat and potatoes” assembly-line guys -- does NOT like people getting out of their categories. Even the Wilkinson character’s change in the way he wore his men’s clothing as he began to shift made the men look at him funny. His belt was too high, his shirts were too tight.
It was interesting that the boss’s solution was to move the character “up” in the social strata which meant he had privacy and more acceptance. Being asked to leave the choir was a different problem, since the point was not “getting along together” but the practical and real goal of producing harmonized music. He couldn’t perform the task of the group: singing on key. But being asked to leave the congregation was clearly a violation of the purpose of church.
The two children are little more than markers, but important ones. The daughter who is a tomboy, the son who is phobic about being feminine in spite of being counter-culture, are familiar, but I’m not quite sure we all realize how differently “millennials” think about gender roles, how thoroughly things like punk music or film of totally different cultures (like “Mad Men” which to me is more grotesque than sex changes) have convinced young people that norms have changed. Or at least they’re far more negotiable.
This is a review of the source book. http://observer.com/2004/02/book-review-8/
This is a review of the source book. http://observer.com/2004/02/book-review-8/
"Dancing with the Stars" Chaz on the right.
Honesty in reflexivity has a lot to do with competence. Deceiving oneself is a recipe for disaster, and yet our culture encourages it -- because the culture is also deceiving itself. Sometimes I think it’s because they can’t bear to realize how wrong they’ve been and other times I think it’s just greed and opportunism. IMHO much of the zaniness and laughter about being gay or changing genders is to cover up chagrin about being so intolerant and dumb about the actual predicament of someone who doesn’t fit their culture.
I hasten to reassure those who are wondering whether I’m lesbian or transgender or some other drastic “aberration” that I’m just a standard stubborn old lady -- who didn’t want children, didn’t want to be married, didn’t want to live with other people at all, and avoids her family because they just get hurt and disappointed by their differences from me, because they think genetics mean similarity -- not a preliminary set of potentials that might take a person in quite a different direction. “Why can’t you marry a nice Presbyterian minister?” asked my mother. “Why can’t you write cute little pieces about kittens?” asked my cousin. And I was horrified by their love of "Outlander," asking THEM, "Don't you realize it's full of S and M torture? And not accurate history?"
"Outlander"
The whole point of human survival is the ability to adapt to the circumstances, but a person can only do it up to a point. I’m pretty well adapted for solitary confinement, even without a book, but would be driven mad by trying to run a nursery school.
It probably seems almost realistic to see Chaz making a total gender change in a show biz context that’s based on illusion and stereotype in the first place. (See “Dancing with the Stars” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqjsAerlAys)
Does Cher look real to you?
Chaz and Mom
No doubt slightly mismatched couples like the one in “Normal” are all around us, having gone on loving each other in spite of serious challenges, losses and changes. Consider Alzheimer’s caregivers faithful to a changed and exasperating partner. But they aren’t flashy, they don’t challenge our own choices -- they are reassuring.
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