WHAT REALLY HAPPENED IN FINLAND

What really happened in Finland?  Of course, my version is all fantasy and never happened.  It is frankly fake news  It's just my way of dealing with the appalling photos of Trump kissing Putin's rump.  The body language is VERY eloquent.  Even Trump's habitual leaning forward on the edge of his chair and putting his fingertips together in the "pussy" sign between his knees, collapsed a bit as he looked wildly and belligerently around.  But Putin's attitude was triumphant: relaxed, open, and straightforward.  He won.  He thinks.

So what happened in the earlier two-person secret meeting?  This is what I imagine.

T. was begging for asylum in Russia and trying to set the terms for where he would stay, the strategy for getting him out of the US, and what the cover story would be.  He wants a golf course, of course, and wants his name on it.  But he can't figure out how to escape the US except by ordering his pilot to fly somewhere -- where?

P. doesn't want T. now that he's become so ridiculous.  He offers an old golf course in Siberia where they have no golf carts and in winter one must play in snow, which means a colored golf ball and a dog trained to dig up the ball if the snow is deep.  T. refuses because he dislikes dogs.  Dogs are loyal, which is an attribute he despises.

P. says T. must make sure that Melania comes along because otherwise it would seem like T. was merely escaping, not preferring Russia and its accommodations.  T. despairs.  It cost him millions to get her onto the plane to Finland.  If she figures out he is running for it, she will not get on the plane for any amount of money.  Anyway, his pilot is military and may obey his Air Force commanders in the US and anyway while the plane is in flight, a pilot is the captain of the ship and outranks even the president.  And then there's the fuel to manage.

But then P. changes tactics because he realizes that it would be simpler to shoot Air Force One out of the sky.  It would be easy to get a US rocket to do the job and then blame it on some country no one likes because the US munitions mongers will sell to anyone.  It's a little worrisome that the US, which holds so much of P's laundered money, might nationalize some entity with the money in it.  They seem to find things better than was anticipated.

T. is jet-lagged but took pills to compensate instead of getting drunk like anyone else in his position.  He is determined not to get drunk because that would mean not thinking and making crazy decisions, maybe not even able to comb and glue his hair properly.  The fact that he does the same thing while sober does not register.  He does not realize the pills were a hypnotic, something like date-rape drugs.

P. says if T. doesn't do what he's told, P. will drop an atomic bomb on an American city.  T. considers for a moment, then asks which city?  He can spare something small and liberal -- maybe Carmel, California?

While this is going on, the riders on Air Force One during this trip are having a conference.  They are remembering 9/11 and that third airliner, how the passengers realized what was at stake and even knowing that their own deaths would be inevitable, decided to crash the plane.  Destroying the White House, old and poorly maintained as it is, was too symbolic to be tolerated.  They put their lives on the line.  There were no cameras that recorded the crash.  Their act certainly prevented a treason so deep that America would be wounded for decades.  We could spare a couple of capitalist skyscrapers much more easily.

The humble stewards, the arrogant journalists, the flight attendants, the cleaners and the stenographers agreed that taking down the plane might be worth it, depending on how T. handles the meeting.  Certainly there were no Democrat legislators on the plane and if there were Republicans, they didn't want it known.

The only thing worse than T.'s speech alongside P. was walking in front of the Queen.  The speech was only words and no one believed them anyway.  The Queen, however, is sacred and must not be obscured or preceded.  She gave T. hand-signals as though he were a Corgi, and he obeyed since he was confronting military, which he loves dearly.  The Queen was not amused.

I'm going to end this right here because I can't even imagine what will happen next.  Watch the news.  Air Force One is crossing the Atlantic at the moment I write.