Wednesday, October 31, 2018


The convention of our culture is that women relate to children better than men do.  Yet often this is upside down.  One of the ways authorities go wrong when they try to contact boys is that they use women, but even for small kids, as small as toddlers, women may be the kind of adults that are most feared and most dangerous, merely because they have had so much control.  They are expected to be the source of food, warmth, comfort, and the rest of what a small child needs, and yet a woman who cannot take care of herself cannot protect even her own children.

In our culture women are often the interface between authority and forced compliance: teachers, nurses, social workers, foster parents, esp for the primary grade ages tend to be women.  Paid as little as possible, forced to get results that are hard or even impossible, given little support or guidance, women often become harsh.  Small children can mean they are able to use force, maybe because they themselves are out of control.

Boys who are noncompliant, even if they are ill, are easy to intimidate with words and -- even more so -- easy to jerk around, slap, or push.  Compliant sons, even toddlers, can be made into servants.  "Go get me the whiskey!  Go get me a blanket!"  The roles become reversed.  Or there can be blaming:  "You stole my money!  You told my secrets!  You let them know I was here, even though you knew I was hiding."  These are probably not sweet suburban moms, though you never know.

Via unauthorized guerrilla vids I've seen 300 pound "grannies" herding little kids quickly into cars in Vietnam.  E. drove one of the common motorbikes closely past them while a photographer rode pillion and kept hands free to use the camera.
This is an actor re-enacting the testimony of a man in Norway.  Clearly and especially in the days when women stayed home alone with children and no other adult -- perhaps with lingering postpartum depression -- children are vulnerable to temper, depressed neglect, and other malfunctions of love.  Consequences are built into the child's brain and make devastating trouble later in life.  Conditions of poverty may mean that children witness things they would not normally know about and even get pulled into what goes on.

"Yellow Silk", a poetic. woman-supporting magazine got into majjor controversy among readers in the Seventies when they published a story about using a vibrator, an openly approved and advertised practice for adult women, when her small child found her.  She used the vibrator on the child.  To many it was beyond the limits of responsible behavior, but for a woman raised in the sexual revolution, accepting the previously male idea of satisfying any "need," and accustomed to hook-up culture, where was the harm?  Luckily, the kid was not much impressed.  

Much abuse of grown females with immature males is much more malicious and just as sexual, like prostitution and exhibitionism.  Incest is a turn-on for some and a war-time assaultive trauma for others.  Female jailors with immature prisoners are an opportunity to pass on treatment they have received from men.

Quoting:  "The Smash Street boys think they are often judged.  Formal judges do indeed judge them.  So do the normals.  These boys scare you."  They cannot form the words they need in order to explain.  Adults who can understand and translate must speak for them.  Yet the boy, with his mixed motives, may see sexual intimacy as a kind of love that will give him a chance to escape.  

In a nearby town the straight-out-of-college upper class young woman who had been hired to teach English and direct plays, chose a drama about adolescent realization of sex.  She was a product of the sexual revolution with few personal boundaries and when she became involved a sexy high school boy, it was probably hardest on the boy, though she lost her job and her career.  The larger culture would tolerate no such event.  It was part of being a professional to resist chancer boys.  Yet the media plays up the developed boy who accepts the child of his teacher while he waits for her to get out of jail.

This confusion among moralities, including those that show up in language, became a source of passionate argument when the Amsterdam group of Cinematheque, the older boys, came up with a script about a man confronting a needy woman.  It was an occasion to try out many effects: color changes, repeats, overlays, and other vid strategies to show emotion.  The image was simply a man speaking poetry about why he responded to a woman in need.  

Among the boys some felt there should never be females in any work the boys did.  Others felt women should be shown as the danger they are, their malicious intent to tear them apart.  Female nurses took their blood, sweat, saliva and semen and made them take meds that made them vomit, nauseated.  It was female nurses who came to force catheters up their urethras.  

Romantic contact was beyond the experience of most.  But others loved their mothers, even trusted sisters, or had made common-cause friendships with whores.  Some were attracted to the whole notion of femaleness: the 4-inch heels, the fishnet hose, the bulging bosom, the wildly arranged hair, the swish and the flirting.  They objected to the use in the script of the word "cunt" and said it was disrespectful.  But not any of the boys knew the medical words for private parts of women.

Right now the whole concept of gender has been on a runaway, sex is considered negotiable, much less what it means, what is allowed, how others should react.  And yet one of the Cinematheque older boys who was struggling with HIV/AIDS had been with a woman long enough to have a child.  Now the three of them were infected and faced with the burden of surviving.  The boy took responsibility and when he brought the toddler to the group, they all played with him and loved him.  The public is waaaaaay behind in understanding the realities, much less dealing with them.  Child Sexual Abuse and Exploitation: Launch of an Economist Intelligence Unit Benchmarking Index.  This five minute testimony by a man who works with abused children is horrifying but honest.  He says that quickly increasing is the number of children -- infants, toddlers and pre-pubescent kids.  They are NOT being attacked in back alleys, but in their homes by those who have access.

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